Does Your Birth Order Really Predict Your Future Behavior?
A concerned mother of three to her husband - "What's up with Dave???"
Father of three to his wife, "Don't worry, he'll grow out of it."
Birth Order Influence
Ah, but will he? Does the role you played in your family as a child shape how you behave as an adult? Science says, well, yes.
You may know the stereotypes, firstborns get the toughest parenting, the middle children get ignored and act out for attention, while the baby is spoiled and gets away with murder...that sort of thing. As the middle of three myself, I'm always interested in these kinds of studies...so ...Dave: A Case Study.
The Burden of the Firstborn
According to a report in the Daily Mail, psychology experts say:
the “hero or perfect child” is likely to be the firstborn, especially the firstborn female, and is an over-achieving child given high amounts of praise and positive attention for their success.
Ok, that right there, is my 2 years older sister Sandra. She's smart, successful, and always Dad's favorite. I KNEW IT!!
As the shrinks say, she's "a high achiever and wants to please"...often labeled as the "good" and "responsible" child.... "organized and goal-oriented; serious, reliable and a good leader". This role is frequently assumed by firstborn children and even more likely by firstborn females....((especially those named SANDRA, no doubt! That's you sis! Nailed it!!' ))
'Typically the firstborn child, studies show that they tend to have higher IQs and are high earners', explained Nora Tollenaar-Szanto, an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner. 'They have an overblown sense of responsibility and can sometimes carry the weight of their weaker siblings in terms of family responsibilities.
Does that sound like YOUR older sister? Because it sure sounds like mine!! (Love ya sis)
We'll skip me and the other middle kids for a moment, to check in on those younger get-everything-they-want baby brothers and sisters.
What About The Babies
Researchers say they are sometimes referred to as “the mascot” kid, and the youngest child, is "often viewed as funny and light-hearted." I'm not buying all of that. My 3 years younger brother Al does have a pretty good sense of humor but he doesn't lead with that (like I do) However, psychologists also say these kids tend to focus on themselves and I would say that is true in our family. (That's it? What about the spoiled rotten part?)
The Middleman's Need For Recognition
Now to me, and my fellow middle kids! Survey says -"Peacekeeper?" I can see that but not really my role. I was too busy fighting with my spoiled brother, so it was up to my sister to be the one to keep the peace! (He stared it)
"Another role could be “the scapegoat,” -that fits in my mind!
"Most often the second born, is the opposite of the “hero” child" That is certainly true in our house, we are quite different! (But I always wanted to be a hero...hmmm. could this be the source of that?) Middle Kids:
As an adult, they are likely to develop positive traits such as being highly conscientious and resilient, but they are also more likely to attract toxic friendships or abusive relationships, and may be more likely to self-sabotage. HMMM....NO Comment.
Meanwhile, the “compliant/lost child” is most likely to be a middle child, and is overlooked or ignored by the family, (SEE, I KNEW IT!!)
As an adult they are likely to be fiercely independent and good problem solvers, but lack decent social skills, and tend to have higher chances of mental health issues like anxiety or depression.
Ok, let's not get carried away...heck...nobody believes this stuff anyway....,....