To Protect “Smile” and Serve–Chuckles Behind the Badge :Dave’s Diary

It’s National Police Week and we honor those who serve on the thin blue line. In addition to a sense of loss for those who died on duty, we also appreciate a sense of humor from those who serve with smile. The following quotes were taken from actual police car videos around the country:

"Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them a while."

"Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

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