It’s National Police Week and we honor those who serve on the thin blue line.  In addition to a sense of loss for those who died on duty, we also appreciate a sense of humor from those who serve with smile.  The following quotes were taken from actual police car videos around the country:

  • "Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them a while."
  • "Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
  • "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
  • "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
  • "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
  • "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
  • "Just how big were those two beers?"
  • "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
  • "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
  • Cameron Spencer/Getty Images