What NOT To Say To End A Quarrel

It really doesn’t matter what started the fight, but when the fight with your significant other is on, Do NOT tell them to “relax”.  Repeat, Do NOT tell them to relax! In fact, researchers says it is one of the worst things someone can say to you AND it doesn’t work!

Wendy Mendes is a professor of emotion at the University of California, San Francisco who says relaxing when the body is already stressed out is actually physically impossible.

Mendes says returning to a relaxed state can take anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes.  Even worse, science has found that trying to suppress emotions actually causes them to leak out even more.

Clinical psychologists say telling someone to relax can mask a variety of motives, including sending a message that says, "I can't stand the way you're making me feel, so stop it."

So how do you diffuse at stressful situation?  To help someone calm down who is stressed, experts say you should first acknowledge their feelings, show empathy, ask open-ended questions, and then maybe suggest taking a break. (Wall Street Journal)