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What A Pet Says About A Man–Sorta — Dave’s Diary

The code of the west says I have to post about Dewey the wonder dog about once a month so here goes. According to, the type of pet a man owns says a lot about who he is and how he lives his life. When you meet someone who has a pet, it’s just not the same as meeting someone who is pet-free. There’s a good chance his pet will affect your future — especially if it’s a dog or cat, since those tend to become the center of a person’s life. In other words, sometimes you just can’t compete with Dewey the Dog! If you’re looking for someone to make their whole world about you, you probably won’t find it in a pet-owner – sometime ask me about Tanja the cat and my eight year battle!

From dogs to rabbits to snakes, here is what a man’s choice of pet says about him.

If he owns a dog, your man is loyal and can actually commit, because owning a dog is as close to having a child as it comes. While other pets can be left for an evening or two, dog ownership doesn’t allow for such behavior. But the major problem here is just how obsessed he is with his dog, because if he lets that puppy sleep in his bed every night, then you better get used to his dog witnessing your sexy times. Some people do not like an audience when they’re in bed.

Oh, you’ve found a sensitive fella! And he’s not only sensitive, but just loves to send you photos of his cat all day long and post them on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not sure why this is, but guys with cats are prone to such things. Also, although Mitten the Kitten can stand spending a night alone thanks to her litter box, the fact remains that she gets very lonely when her owner isn’t there. This means you’ll be spending most, if not all nights, at his place. Mitten the Kitten needs him! Why can’t you understand that?

if your guy has a tank full of fish, he just may be low on the emotions.  Pets are meant to be cuddled, not watched! Sure, maybe he has some sort of allergy to furry pets, but there’s just something weird and “Dr. Evil” to me about a guy who only owns fish as pets.

Again, not exactly a pet you can cuddle with, but at least you can pet it and teach it to say things. A fella with a pet parrot is probably the type who’s really impressed with himself.  The world definitely needs more parrots who repeat “Hey good-lookin’!” every 10 minutes.

The reason your man would have a pet rabbit is because he never had one when he was a kid, and now that he’s living on his own, he’s going to finally fulfill that dream. The rabbit’s name is probably something like “Rambo”or “Killer” to make up for the fact that he’s a dude who actually owns a fluffy bunny.

Whether it’s a mouse, a rat, a hamster or a guinea pig, if he has some sort of furry creature that lives in a cage and he’s over the age of 15, you really need to think long and hard about whether you want to continue.

We could technically put this in the rodent category, but something about the sneakiness of a ferret just makes it stand alone. A guy who owns a ferret is probably relatively shady and most likely hiding something. If he takes that ferret for walks on a leash, he’s not only a sketch-ball, but he also likes attention — and not the good kind of attention.

Seriously? A grown man with a snake? Does he drive a Camaro and rock a Metallica shirt circa 1986?    

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