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Too Much Turkey – Don’t Make Me Laugh

Keystone/Getty Images
Keystone/Getty Images

I hate to admit it but I really did overeat on Thanksgiving. I mean I REALLY overate.  I’m a little disappointed in myself so I thought I might distract from the pain and embarrassment with a little humor.  I’m not sure who wrote this but we found it on one of our show prep sites.  So credit to them and chuckles to you and now I have to go crawl back to bed…again…

 Signs you’ve eaten too much:
–Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you
–Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall
–You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the Earth’s axis
–You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid July
–World’s fastest man sends you a telegram warning you to “Back off!”
–On NBC’s “Biggest Loser,” you’re your own team
–Getting off your couch requires help of the fire department
–You’ve burnt out two refrigerator bulbs and it’s only halftime of the football game
–On a recent cruise you were asked to stay in the center of the ship
–You’re sweating’ gravy

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