Ruin the Moment but Save the Marriage :Dave’s Diary
You know the expression “You can pay me now or you can PAY me later”? Well, it seems that’s true in relationships too. For example, if you’re angry at him for leaving dirty dishes in the sink, the experts say to speak up. If you’re upset with her for ignoring you at the end of a long day, let her know…or else! Or else you risk preventing the battle but losing the war …and the marriage!
Holding it in with the idea of not starting an argument is the fastest way to kill a marriage because it creates emotional distance says Rev. David Code, an Episcopal priest, family coach and author of “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First. Cole says just because you seldom argue doesn’t mean your marriage is strong. The real silent killer of marriage is distancing yourself from your partner.
Code insists that couples should worry more about their flight response, which is the instinct to avoid your partner, than their fight response, the instinct to argue it out verbally.